“I baked you a delicious cookie.”

I strongly believe that positive life change happens in loving relationships. Therefore, if we want kids’ lives to be changed as a result of attending church, we need to create environments in which they can be in loving relationships. This is why small groups with consistent kids and leaders are so important. When kids develop relationships other kids and adults at church and feel loved and accepted, they are able to open their hearts and minds to what God wants to teach them.

An important question for small group leaders to ask is “How do I know the kids in my group feel loved?” If you can identify those signs, you’ll know you’re on the right track towards being a catalyst for change in the lives of kids. If, on the other hand, you realize your kids don’t exhibit behaviors like those listed here, it may be time to beef up your love factor.

My top 10 list for ways to know kids feel loved:

10. They smile when they see you.
9. They relax when you are near.
8. They run toward you to give you a big hug.
7. They look you in the eye when you’re talking to them.
6. They jockey for position just to sit next to you.
5. They do what you ask them to do.
4. They come back to church when you send them an “I’ve miss you” postcard.
3. They chit-chat with you as they are waiting for their parents to pick them up.
2. They draw pictures for you.

And the #1 way you know kids feel loved is...

1. They bake you a delicious cookie!

What about you? How do you know kids in your small group feel loved? Just click the comments link below and tell us what you think.

(photo by roboppy)

One Simple Way to Quickly Improve Your Small Group

Have you ever led one of those small groups that you felt was a total waste of time? Every once in a while I have one of those days. It seems like no matter what I do or how hard I try, the kids have a hard time focusing.

If you have ever felt like that, this tip is for you. Perhaps the solution to your problem is simpler than you think. It could be that all you need to do is remove distractions from your small group area so kids are able to focus better.

Several weeks ago I introduced the concept of honor by giving each 2nd grader in my group an inflated balloon early in the small group time. I had the kids draw the face of someone they wanted to honor on the balloon. Then, I had them all toss their balloons in the air and try to keep them off the ground. This was designed to illustrate how honoring someone is like “lifting them up.”

After the kids had batted their balloons for about fifteen seconds, their energy increased. With each bat, they jumped up a bit more. I could tell that in about five more seconds, mayhem was going to break loose if I didn’t collect the balloons. If that happened, I’d never be able to recapture the kids attention.

My mind quickly shifted into problem-solving mode. I grabbed the black trash bag in which I had originally stored the inflated balloons. I quickly held it up and caught the first balloon I saw. Then, I captured a second and a third. Once I assured the kids that they could have their balloons back after our group was over, they were eager to bat the balloons toward the bag. I encouraged them to toss their balloons up and see if I could catch them. I made my capturing of the balloons a fun activity for them.

Once I had all the balloons stored securely in the bag, I was able to transition to the next activity without any distractions. Capturing the balloons was the most important thing I did that morning. Had I allowed the kids to keep their newly-created toys during the group, they wouldn’t have paid attention to the rest of the lesson.

There are certain distractions that have a way of showing up repeatedly during small groups. Here are a few and how to remove them.

Supplies (The #1 culprit)

• Wait until kids need supplies (including Bibles) before you distribute them.
• Collect supplies as soon as the kids are done with them.

Kids’ personal items

• Kindly ask for them. Assure the children you’ll return their belongings after small group time.
• If you make it a practice to collect personal items at the beginning of small group time, kids will become used to that and may even stop bringing them.
  

Noise or movement in the hall

• Close the door.
• Have the kids sit with their back to the door.

Noise or movement in the rest of the room

• Position yourself with your back to the wall (instead of to the center of the room.) This way kids won’t be visually distracted by other things that may be happening in the center of the room.
• Don't allow yourself to get distracted. If you do, the kids certainly will.
  

You may not be able to eliminate every distraction, but if you take these precautions, you can eliminate the majority of distractions very easily and increase the likelihood that the kids in your group will leave with a better understanding of the point you were trying to communicate to them.

Have a great group this week!

(photo by Andre Maceira)

Say My Name, Say My Name

In my last post, I wrote about the value of having kids sit in a tight circle to increase involvement and focus. Another extremely helpful tactic for keeping kids engaged during small group time is to call each child by name several times during your time with them.

For example, a couple weeks ago, we did an activity that illustrated honor. I called on two kids by name and asked them to sit in the middle of the circle. While they were sitting there, we all said our memory verse together. “Love one another deeply. Honor others more than yourselves” Romans 12:10. Then, after we had all said the verse, I offered each child in the center of the circle a small treat by saying something like, “Rebekah, thank you for sitting in our seat of honor. You may have a cookie.” Each child felt honored and each child sat patiently while we honored his or her peers.

Two weeks ago, I invited each child to take an object from the center of the circle. I called on them individually by name so they each took a turn getting their object. A few children wanted to rush ahead of their turn, but it was very easy to say, “It’s Sarah’s turn now. I’ll call on you when it’s your turn.” They responded very well to this.

Since I’ve been making a concerted effort to call on every child by name several times during our small group, I’ve noticed a few changes in the kids.

1. Kids stay focused, eagerly waiting for their name to be called.
2. Kids are more patient because they know they will each get a chance to participate.
3. Kids are more respectful of each other because they see that everyone has equal value in the group.
4. The quieter kids have started participating more, offering their ideas at other times as well.

There’s power in a name. I encourage you to tap into that power by calling all your kids by name during small group time. Have a great small group this week!

Gather ‘round

These past few weeks, I’ve had about 14 second graders in my “small group.” As I mentioned in an earlier post, 14 kids is more like a class than a group so I need to be very intentional about helping them stay focused.

My main tactic for keeping my group on task is to have them get in a circle, hold hands, take a step forward and then sit down. This creates a fairly tight circle with very little space between each kid and we can do activities in the center of the circle. This circle has been wonderful for keeping this many kids engaged.

I sit in the circle also and have all the supplies I need right behind me. This allows me to move easily from one activity to the next without leaving the circle.

Every once in a while, after an activity or two, a child will end up sitting more towards the middle of the circle. It’s very easy to redirect that child by saying, “Tyler, please sit back in the circle.” If the entire group has gotten out of the circle because they’ve moved around during an activity, it’s very easy to have them stand up, hold hands, take a small step forward and sit down again.

I’m loving my circle! If you’re having trouble getting your kids to sit still, you might want to try having them sit in a circle on the floor. It’s worked amazingly well for me!

Keeping Small Groups Small

For the past month, I’ve been leading the small group of new 2nd graders on Sunday mornings. It’s called a small group, but it hasn’t actually been small. Several Sundays there have been 14 kids in the group and fall isn’t even here yet.

When summer vacations are over, I fully anticipate the number of 2nd graders on any given Sunday to be 20 or more. That’s a class, not a small group.

While I’m becoming rather attached to all the kids in the group, the experience of leading this group of kids has increased my commitment to keeping our groups small on Sunday mornings. With small groups,

• kids get more opportunities to talk and kids learn when they talk.
• kids are more likely to pray
• kids are more focused because they don’t have to wait as long while other kids talk or finish their work.
• it’s easier to draw out quieter kids.
• it’s easier to really get to know kids.
• disruptive behavior is minimized.

As we gear up for fall, join me in the commiment to keep our Sunday morning groups small by (1) telling your friends how much you enjoy being a small group leader and/or assistant and asking them to do it, too, and (2) praying for God to send us more leaders and assistants.

Want to grow in your faith? Try serving!

Many years ago I was at a crossroad in my life, trying to figure out where I really fit in at church. I had been involved in our Wednesday night children’s program for years and then transitioned to teaching an adult class on Sunday mornings. After doing that for a while, I took a break from ministry. Life was busy, the kids were growing up, my husband was very involved in Sunday ministry, I was working a fulltime job and it was hard for me to keep up with everything.

As time went by, though, I found myself more and more “lost” in our church. I didn’t feel connected and I had plateaued spiritually. My wise and loving husband sat me down and pointed out to me that I had started feeling this way after I had stepped out of ministry. He reminded me that God had wired me to serve Him and others and when I wasn’t doing that, I was bound to feel lost, unenergized and spiritually empty. He was right.

Last week I received a “farewell” e-mail from Leisel, one of our sixth grade small group leaders. Liesel volunteered to help with our sixth grade girls this summer and she also went so summer camp as a cabin leader. After a brief year in Lawrence, she is now heading back to Alaska for college.

Her e-mail reiterates what my husband told me years ago. With her permission I’m including it.

I've really enjoyed working with the 6th graders and the rest of the SS teachers! Thanks so much for letting me. I've already found my faith being more solid since I've worked with the girls and helped at camp! I once saw a quote in one of my ed classes that said "to teach is to learn twice" and it's true! I've learned more about God and myself and my relationship with God since the beginning of the summer, it's incredible!

I’m grateful to God that Liesel is heading back to college with a renewed interest in pursuing God and with joy in her heart. I love it that God changes our hearts as we serve others! How cool is that!

“I found it!”

Yesterday was the first week of a new virtue in Discovery Unlimited. One of my favorite parts of small group was helping the 2nd graders find their new Bible verse. I loved seeing the excitement in their faces when they found the verse and hearing them exclaim, “I found it! Can I read it to you?”

It’s not hard for kids to learn to find verses if you walk them through this process:

1. Find the book listed in the Table of Contents.
2. Identify the page number the book is on.
3. Locate the book in the Bible.
4. Turn to the correct chapter.
5. Scan through the chapter to find the correct verse.

They LOVE it when they find the right verse. It’s a huge accomplishment for them!

Having younger kids look up the same verse every week for a month is extremely helpful. Kids who are just learning to use their Bibles can really benefit from going through these steps repeatedly. Unlike us, they don’t get tired of it or think to themselves, “We’ve already done this before!” Each week they feel a new sense of accomplishment.

The great thing is that each time they successfully find the verse (even if they’ve found it several times before), they are learning how to navigate the Bible and are feeling good about their newly acquired skills.

I encourage you to have the kids in your group open the Bible every week during small group time. If they actually use their Bibles, even for only a minute or two, every time they come to DU, by the end of elementary school, they’ll know their way around.

Bibles are stored in the Galaxy closet if you need them. Help yourself!