Three Ways to Engage Energetic Kids

Diana has been asked to lead a small group of kids at her church. She’s excited about this prospect and works hard to prepare for her first lesson. She loves kids and has always wanted to get involved in children’s ministry.

Within minutes after she arrives, Diana notices that one of the boys in her group is more energetic than the rest and has a hard time staying focused. He’s similar to the little boy in this video:

If she lines the kids up, he quickly moves out of line. If she has the kids sit in a circle, in no time, he’s wiggling around on the floor . If she has the kids recite their verse together, he’s very loud and not in sync with the rest of the group. When she gives the kids a chance to color, he breaks the crayons in half instead of coloring.

An hour later, Diana leaves church exhausted and wonders if anyone got anything out of her well thought-out lesson. She isn’t quite sure what to do, but she knows she’s got to come up with a plan before next Sunday.

Learning to manage kids who have trouble focusing in small group environments is extremely important. The percentage of kids in our culture who have trouble focusing is large enough that nearly every small group is bound to have at least one child who brings an abundance of energy to the group.

Since experience is the best teacher, I’ve asked several seasoned children’s leaders for suggestions on how to help energetic kids stay focused during small group time. I’ll share three of them this week and more next week.

1. Embrace opportunities to work with kids who challenge you.

Leslie, one of the small group leaders at our church and the mother of a special needs child, wrote,

“I just remember thinking to myself, quite often, that my son’s teachers just wanted him out of there because he's different. I was a little sensitive but I know that's the way the human mind works, to weed out the difficulties so things will be easier. So try to keep away the mindset that it would be so much easier to run this group if so and so weren't here.

We need to be reminded that the Bible says that God will give us challenges, not as a test, but as a character builder for our lives. It's not always easy to handle these kids, but it's obviously God's will that they be with us for the short time that we are entrusted with them.”

Children’s ministry leaders need to embrace opportunities to work with kids who are a bit more challenging because those kids need to experience the love of God in tangible ways. Additionally, as we accept opportunities to lead all types of children, our leadership skill set will improve and our character will be built. What seems difficult today may not seem difficult in six months if we accept opportunities to grow.

2. Stay focused on the positive.

Kids who struggle to focus are aware of the fact that they challenge adults and, because of this, they often feel unwanted. They need to sense from you that they are loved and accepted.

If you frequently say things like “Stop that” or “Don’t do that,” they’ll sense that you'd prefer they weren't in your group.

Instead of focusing on their negative actions, you can redirect their behavior in a way that shows them you really care about them and are glad they're in your group. For example, if a child is breaking crayons, instead of saying, “Billy, don’t do that,” you could say, “Billy, can you please hand me a crayon so I can write draw the verse for everyone?” This takes the focus off the behavior you want to curb, redirects the child’s attention to the lesson and sends the message to the child that he has something valuable to contribute to the group.

3. Adapt activities to include additional movement.

It’s possible that the kids who are struggling to stay focused in your group have a disorder, like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). ADHD is caused by a lack of chemical stimulation to the brain so children with ADHD compensate by creating other stimulation, like constantly moving or making noises.

By adapting your activities to include more movement, you will reduce the need for these children to create stimulation on their own. For example, instead of just having kids verbally recite a verse, you could have the kids get in a single-file line and march around the room shouting out a word of the verse with each step. Getting them involved both verbally and physically will help them stay focused and also increase the likelihood that they will remember what you are trying to teach them.

5th Grade boys spelling out LOVE

This is a perfect example of getting kids physically involved in the lesson. Instead of just having kids talk about love, the leaders had them spell out the virtue with their bodies first. It was a fun, physical way to introduce a topic in small group.

As you prepare lessons, look for ways to add movement into each activity.

Thank you Leslie, Dawn, Linda, Louise, Rowley and Cindy for sharing your ideas and Steve and Vicki for sharing your LOVE pic! What about you? What are some ways you help energetic kids stay engaged during group time?

One Simple Way to Quickly Improve Your Small Group

Have you ever led one of those small groups that you felt was a total waste of time? Every once in a while I have one of those days. It seems like no matter what I do or how hard I try, the kids have a hard time focusing.

If you have ever felt like that, this tip is for you. Perhaps the solution to your problem is simpler than you think. It could be that all you need to do is remove distractions from your small group area so kids are able to focus better.

Several weeks ago I introduced the concept of honor by giving each 2nd grader in my group an inflated balloon early in the small group time. I had the kids draw the face of someone they wanted to honor on the balloon. Then, I had them all toss their balloons in the air and try to keep them off the ground. This was designed to illustrate how honoring someone is like “lifting them up.”

After the kids had batted their balloons for about fifteen seconds, their energy increased. With each bat, they jumped up a bit more. I could tell that in about five more seconds, mayhem was going to break loose if I didn’t collect the balloons. If that happened, I’d never be able to recapture the kids attention.

My mind quickly shifted into problem-solving mode. I grabbed the black trash bag in which I had originally stored the inflated balloons. I quickly held it up and caught the first balloon I saw. Then, I captured a second and a third. Once I assured the kids that they could have their balloons back after our group was over, they were eager to bat the balloons toward the bag. I encouraged them to toss their balloons up and see if I could catch them. I made my capturing of the balloons a fun activity for them.

Once I had all the balloons stored securely in the bag, I was able to transition to the next activity without any distractions. Capturing the balloons was the most important thing I did that morning. Had I allowed the kids to keep their newly-created toys during the group, they wouldn’t have paid attention to the rest of the lesson.

There are certain distractions that have a way of showing up repeatedly during small groups. Here are a few and how to remove them.

Supplies (The #1 culprit)

• Wait until kids need supplies (including Bibles) before you distribute them.
• Collect supplies as soon as the kids are done with them.

Kids’ personal items

• Kindly ask for them. Assure the children you’ll return their belongings after small group time.
• If you make it a practice to collect personal items at the beginning of small group time, kids will become used to that and may even stop bringing them.
  

Noise or movement in the hall

• Close the door.
• Have the kids sit with their back to the door.

Noise or movement in the rest of the room

• Position yourself with your back to the wall (instead of to the center of the room.) This way kids won’t be visually distracted by other things that may be happening in the center of the room.
• Don't allow yourself to get distracted. If you do, the kids certainly will.
  

You may not be able to eliminate every distraction, but if you take these precautions, you can eliminate the majority of distractions very easily and increase the likelihood that the kids in your group will leave with a better understanding of the point you were trying to communicate to them.

Have a great group this week!

(photo by Andre Maceira)

Say My Name, Say My Name

In my last post, I wrote about the value of having kids sit in a tight circle to increase involvement and focus. Another extremely helpful tactic for keeping kids engaged during small group time is to call each child by name several times during your time with them.

For example, a couple weeks ago, we did an activity that illustrated honor. I called on two kids by name and asked them to sit in the middle of the circle. While they were sitting there, we all said our memory verse together. “Love one another deeply. Honor others more than yourselves” Romans 12:10. Then, after we had all said the verse, I offered each child in the center of the circle a small treat by saying something like, “Rebekah, thank you for sitting in our seat of honor. You may have a cookie.” Each child felt honored and each child sat patiently while we honored his or her peers.

Two weeks ago, I invited each child to take an object from the center of the circle. I called on them individually by name so they each took a turn getting their object. A few children wanted to rush ahead of their turn, but it was very easy to say, “It’s Sarah’s turn now. I’ll call on you when it’s your turn.” They responded very well to this.

Since I’ve been making a concerted effort to call on every child by name several times during our small group, I’ve noticed a few changes in the kids.

1. Kids stay focused, eagerly waiting for their name to be called.
2. Kids are more patient because they know they will each get a chance to participate.
3. Kids are more respectful of each other because they see that everyone has equal value in the group.
4. The quieter kids have started participating more, offering their ideas at other times as well.

There’s power in a name. I encourage you to tap into that power by calling all your kids by name during small group time. Have a great small group this week!

Gather ‘round

These past few weeks, I’ve had about 14 second graders in my “small group.” As I mentioned in an earlier post, 14 kids is more like a class than a group so I need to be very intentional about helping them stay focused.

My main tactic for keeping my group on task is to have them get in a circle, hold hands, take a step forward and then sit down. This creates a fairly tight circle with very little space between each kid and we can do activities in the center of the circle. This circle has been wonderful for keeping this many kids engaged.

I sit in the circle also and have all the supplies I need right behind me. This allows me to move easily from one activity to the next without leaving the circle.

Every once in a while, after an activity or two, a child will end up sitting more towards the middle of the circle. It’s very easy to redirect that child by saying, “Tyler, please sit back in the circle.” If the entire group has gotten out of the circle because they’ve moved around during an activity, it’s very easy to have them stand up, hold hands, take a small step forward and sit down again.

I’m loving my circle! If you’re having trouble getting your kids to sit still, you might want to try having them sit in a circle on the floor. It’s worked amazingly well for me!

Be Careful At the Curves

Once or twice a year, I get the privilege of preaching in our church. Since I don’t get to do that very often, I don’t get many opportunities to refine my public speaking. A couple years ago, I decided I’d better read some books to figure out how to deliver a message that is memorable.

I came across a book titled Communicating For a Change by Andy Stanley and loved it. One of the points he makes in this book is be careful at the curves.

What he means is this:

When you are making a transition, make sure you are taking your listeners with you through that transition. Don’t lose them.

Public speakers have a tendency to lose their audience by moving too quickly through transitions, so Stanley's advice to them is “slow down at the curves.”

As I’ve observed children’s small group leaders, what I’ve realized is that they often lose their kids during transition times because they slow down too much. If a leader is unprepared, she often stops after one activity to read the next one and then figure out what to say to the kids. While she’s quietly reading the plans, the kids’ get fidgety. They might begin to talk with each other, poke each other, giggle, and throw things . If the leader is really slow about engaging kids in the next activity, mayhem can break out.

As a small group leader, one of the most effective ways for you to prepare for your time with kids is to pre-script your transitions. Write them out word for word. Be very clear (yet concise) about what you want kids to do and why. Don’t say too little. Don’t ramble on and on.

You might think this is too time consuming, but I assure you, it works. If you know exactly what you want your kids to do next and you can verbally move them from one activity to the next without pausing to think about what to say, you’ll hold kids’ attention and they’ll stick with you.

Pause now and think about your small group. Do you tend to lose kids at the curves? Do they start talking to each other between activities? Do you struggle to get their attention whenever it’s time to shift gears in your group?

If this describes your group, I encourage you to take the extra 10 minutes to script out your transitions. In one week, you’ll notice a difference. Your ten minute sacrifice will result in more focused class time, which will result in more time for kids to learn how to apply God’s truths, to pray, to learn Bible verses and to make meaningful friendships. Your weekly ten minute sacrifices will make an eternal difference in the lives of your kids.

Come back next week to get ideas about the order of directions…

Who Sits Where

One of the best ways to help your kids focus during small group time is to make sure they are sitting next to people who won’t distract them. As the leader of a small group, you not only have the authority to ask your kids to sit in specific places, but you have the responsibility to do that. If you allow certain kids to sit next to each other, not only do those kids distract each other, but they also rob everyone else in the group of valuable learning time.

Before you come to church this Sunday, take a minute to think about the dynamics of your group. Which kids feed off each other? Which kids need to be physically separate from each other? Which kids would benefit from sitting right next to you so you can provide extra guidance and support for them? Which kids can you count on to help others find Bible verses or encourage those who are struggling?

You may not get the arrangement right the first time, but having a plan in a place to start. Experiment with the order until you’ve come upon a plan that minimizes distractions and maximizing learning time. And, remember that kids only come on the average half the time, so whatever plan you come up with won’t be perfectly implemented, but it will get you thinking about who should (or shouldn’t) sit next to whom.

As a reward for keeping focused on learning while sitting in their new spots, kids could be allowed to sit next to their friends for the last few minutes of group time while they are waiting on their parents.

Distributed Practice More Effective Than Massed Practice

One of the best learning strategies out there is that people learn better through short, repeated practices than through massed practice (in one long session). This is why teachers encourage students to review a little each night instead of cramming for tests. It’s why athletes practice nearly every day instead of doing all their practice on one or two days a week. And it’s why our Discovery Unlimited curriculum camps out on one virtue and one verse each month.

As a small group leader, you may be wondering how this applies to you and the kids you lead. Here are a few ways:

• Include a Bible memory activity each week instead of spending 15 minutes one week of the month on Bible memory. Kids will learn the verse better if they review it each week.
  
  
• Provide prayer time each week for kids and encourage them to pray aloud, even if it’s just one sentence. The act of praying a bit each week will teach them to pray more confidently than if you try to get them to pray a longer pray once a month.
  
  
• Have them open their Bibles, even if it’s just to one verse, regularly. The more they use a Bible and the Table of Contents, the easier it will become. Don’t think that they can wait until they are older and learn to navigate the word of God.
  
  
• Repetition is an aid to learning; it’s not a hindrance. The fact that kids have four weeks to learn a virtue and a verse doesn’t mean that what we are doing is “watered down;” it means that we are teaching toward mastery. If we hopped from topic to topic each week, kids would have much less of a chance of learning anything. The repetition enhances their ability to learn so…

Capitalize on opportunities to have kids repeat. Provide them with short opportunities to practice spiritual disciplines (like prayer, Bible memory, finding verses in the Bible and service over and over). This approach will change their lives!

Be Prepared

I appreciate all the small group leaders in the children's ministry at the Lawrence Free Methodist Church and want to dedicate this series of posts to you to help you be the best small group leaders you can be!

I hope these tips are encouraging and helpful. Let me know if you have ideas for things to include or if you'd like to write the tip sometime.

One of the best ways to have a great small group and to communicate to kids that you love them and value them is to be ready for small group time. Kids appreciate knowing that their leader has a plan, is excited about what is going on, and cares enough about the lesson and the kids to prepare for their time together. Just like the scouts, a great motto for us is "Be Prepared."