Three Ways to Engage Energetic Kids

Diana has been asked to lead a small group of kids at her church. She’s excited about this prospect and works hard to prepare for her first lesson. She loves kids and has always wanted to get involved in children’s ministry.

Within minutes after she arrives, Diana notices that one of the boys in her group is more energetic than the rest and has a hard time staying focused. He’s similar to the little boy in this video:

If she lines the kids up, he quickly moves out of line. If she has the kids sit in a circle, in no time, he’s wiggling around on the floor . If she has the kids recite their verse together, he’s very loud and not in sync with the rest of the group. When she gives the kids a chance to color, he breaks the crayons in half instead of coloring.

An hour later, Diana leaves church exhausted and wonders if anyone got anything out of her well thought-out lesson. She isn’t quite sure what to do, but she knows she’s got to come up with a plan before next Sunday.

Learning to manage kids who have trouble focusing in small group environments is extremely important. The percentage of kids in our culture who have trouble focusing is large enough that nearly every small group is bound to have at least one child who brings an abundance of energy to the group.

Since experience is the best teacher, I’ve asked several seasoned children’s leaders for suggestions on how to help energetic kids stay focused during small group time. I’ll share three of them this week and more next week.

1. Embrace opportunities to work with kids who challenge you.

Leslie, one of the small group leaders at our church and the mother of a special needs child, wrote,

“I just remember thinking to myself, quite often, that my son’s teachers just wanted him out of there because he's different. I was a little sensitive but I know that's the way the human mind works, to weed out the difficulties so things will be easier. So try to keep away the mindset that it would be so much easier to run this group if so and so weren't here.

We need to be reminded that the Bible says that God will give us challenges, not as a test, but as a character builder for our lives. It's not always easy to handle these kids, but it's obviously God's will that they be with us for the short time that we are entrusted with them.”

Children’s ministry leaders need to embrace opportunities to work with kids who are a bit more challenging because those kids need to experience the love of God in tangible ways. Additionally, as we accept opportunities to lead all types of children, our leadership skill set will improve and our character will be built. What seems difficult today may not seem difficult in six months if we accept opportunities to grow.

2. Stay focused on the positive.

Kids who struggle to focus are aware of the fact that they challenge adults and, because of this, they often feel unwanted. They need to sense from you that they are loved and accepted.

If you frequently say things like “Stop that” or “Don’t do that,” they’ll sense that you'd prefer they weren't in your group.

Instead of focusing on their negative actions, you can redirect their behavior in a way that shows them you really care about them and are glad they're in your group. For example, if a child is breaking crayons, instead of saying, “Billy, don’t do that,” you could say, “Billy, can you please hand me a crayon so I can write draw the verse for everyone?” This takes the focus off the behavior you want to curb, redirects the child’s attention to the lesson and sends the message to the child that he has something valuable to contribute to the group.

3. Adapt activities to include additional movement.

It’s possible that the kids who are struggling to stay focused in your group have a disorder, like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). ADHD is caused by a lack of chemical stimulation to the brain so children with ADHD compensate by creating other stimulation, like constantly moving or making noises.

By adapting your activities to include more movement, you will reduce the need for these children to create stimulation on their own. For example, instead of just having kids verbally recite a verse, you could have the kids get in a single-file line and march around the room shouting out a word of the verse with each step. Getting them involved both verbally and physically will help them stay focused and also increase the likelihood that they will remember what you are trying to teach them.

5th Grade boys spelling out LOVE

This is a perfect example of getting kids physically involved in the lesson. Instead of just having kids talk about love, the leaders had them spell out the virtue with their bodies first. It was a fun, physical way to introduce a topic in small group.

As you prepare lessons, look for ways to add movement into each activity.

Thank you Leslie, Dawn, Linda, Louise, Rowley and Cindy for sharing your ideas and Steve and Vicki for sharing your LOVE pic! What about you? What are some ways you help energetic kids stay engaged during group time?

One Simple Way to Quickly Improve Your Small Group

Have you ever led one of those small groups that you felt was a total waste of time? Every once in a while I have one of those days. It seems like no matter what I do or how hard I try, the kids have a hard time focusing.

If you have ever felt like that, this tip is for you. Perhaps the solution to your problem is simpler than you think. It could be that all you need to do is remove distractions from your small group area so kids are able to focus better.

Several weeks ago I introduced the concept of honor by giving each 2nd grader in my group an inflated balloon early in the small group time. I had the kids draw the face of someone they wanted to honor on the balloon. Then, I had them all toss their balloons in the air and try to keep them off the ground. This was designed to illustrate how honoring someone is like “lifting them up.”

After the kids had batted their balloons for about fifteen seconds, their energy increased. With each bat, they jumped up a bit more. I could tell that in about five more seconds, mayhem was going to break loose if I didn’t collect the balloons. If that happened, I’d never be able to recapture the kids attention.

My mind quickly shifted into problem-solving mode. I grabbed the black trash bag in which I had originally stored the inflated balloons. I quickly held it up and caught the first balloon I saw. Then, I captured a second and a third. Once I assured the kids that they could have their balloons back after our group was over, they were eager to bat the balloons toward the bag. I encouraged them to toss their balloons up and see if I could catch them. I made my capturing of the balloons a fun activity for them.

Once I had all the balloons stored securely in the bag, I was able to transition to the next activity without any distractions. Capturing the balloons was the most important thing I did that morning. Had I allowed the kids to keep their newly-created toys during the group, they wouldn’t have paid attention to the rest of the lesson.

There are certain distractions that have a way of showing up repeatedly during small groups. Here are a few and how to remove them.

Supplies (The #1 culprit)

• Wait until kids need supplies (including Bibles) before you distribute them.
• Collect supplies as soon as the kids are done with them.

Kids’ personal items

• Kindly ask for them. Assure the children you’ll return their belongings after small group time.
• If you make it a practice to collect personal items at the beginning of small group time, kids will become used to that and may even stop bringing them.
  

Noise or movement in the hall

• Close the door.
• Have the kids sit with their back to the door.

Noise or movement in the rest of the room

• Position yourself with your back to the wall (instead of to the center of the room.) This way kids won’t be visually distracted by other things that may be happening in the center of the room.
• Don't allow yourself to get distracted. If you do, the kids certainly will.
  

You may not be able to eliminate every distraction, but if you take these precautions, you can eliminate the majority of distractions very easily and increase the likelihood that the kids in your group will leave with a better understanding of the point you were trying to communicate to them.

Have a great group this week!

(photo by Andre Maceira)

Say My Name, Say My Name

In my last post, I wrote about the value of having kids sit in a tight circle to increase involvement and focus. Another extremely helpful tactic for keeping kids engaged during small group time is to call each child by name several times during your time with them.

For example, a couple weeks ago, we did an activity that illustrated honor. I called on two kids by name and asked them to sit in the middle of the circle. While they were sitting there, we all said our memory verse together. “Love one another deeply. Honor others more than yourselves” Romans 12:10. Then, after we had all said the verse, I offered each child in the center of the circle a small treat by saying something like, “Rebekah, thank you for sitting in our seat of honor. You may have a cookie.” Each child felt honored and each child sat patiently while we honored his or her peers.

Two weeks ago, I invited each child to take an object from the center of the circle. I called on them individually by name so they each took a turn getting their object. A few children wanted to rush ahead of their turn, but it was very easy to say, “It’s Sarah’s turn now. I’ll call on you when it’s your turn.” They responded very well to this.

Since I’ve been making a concerted effort to call on every child by name several times during our small group, I’ve noticed a few changes in the kids.

1. Kids stay focused, eagerly waiting for their name to be called.
2. Kids are more patient because they know they will each get a chance to participate.
3. Kids are more respectful of each other because they see that everyone has equal value in the group.
4. The quieter kids have started participating more, offering their ideas at other times as well.

There’s power in a name. I encourage you to tap into that power by calling all your kids by name during small group time. Have a great small group this week!

Gather ‘round

These past few weeks, I’ve had about 14 second graders in my “small group.” As I mentioned in an earlier post, 14 kids is more like a class than a group so I need to be very intentional about helping them stay focused.

My main tactic for keeping my group on task is to have them get in a circle, hold hands, take a step forward and then sit down. This creates a fairly tight circle with very little space between each kid and we can do activities in the center of the circle. This circle has been wonderful for keeping this many kids engaged.

I sit in the circle also and have all the supplies I need right behind me. This allows me to move easily from one activity to the next without leaving the circle.

Every once in a while, after an activity or two, a child will end up sitting more towards the middle of the circle. It’s very easy to redirect that child by saying, “Tyler, please sit back in the circle.” If the entire group has gotten out of the circle because they’ve moved around during an activity, it’s very easy to have them stand up, hold hands, take a small step forward and sit down again.

I’m loving my circle! If you’re having trouble getting your kids to sit still, you might want to try having them sit in a circle on the floor. It’s worked amazingly well for me!

“I found it!”

Yesterday was the first week of a new virtue in Discovery Unlimited. One of my favorite parts of small group was helping the 2nd graders find their new Bible verse. I loved seeing the excitement in their faces when they found the verse and hearing them exclaim, “I found it! Can I read it to you?”

It’s not hard for kids to learn to find verses if you walk them through this process:

1. Find the book listed in the Table of Contents.
2. Identify the page number the book is on.
3. Locate the book in the Bible.
4. Turn to the correct chapter.
5. Scan through the chapter to find the correct verse.

They LOVE it when they find the right verse. It’s a huge accomplishment for them!

Having younger kids look up the same verse every week for a month is extremely helpful. Kids who are just learning to use their Bibles can really benefit from going through these steps repeatedly. Unlike us, they don’t get tired of it or think to themselves, “We’ve already done this before!” Each week they feel a new sense of accomplishment.

The great thing is that each time they successfully find the verse (even if they’ve found it several times before), they are learning how to navigate the Bible and are feeling good about their newly acquired skills.

I encourage you to have the kids in your group open the Bible every week during small group time. If they actually use their Bibles, even for only a minute or two, every time they come to DU, by the end of elementary school, they’ll know their way around.

Bibles are stored in the Galaxy closet if you need them. Help yourself!

Be Careful At the Curves

Once or twice a year, I get the privilege of preaching in our church. Since I don’t get to do that very often, I don’t get many opportunities to refine my public speaking. A couple years ago, I decided I’d better read some books to figure out how to deliver a message that is memorable.

I came across a book titled Communicating For a Change by Andy Stanley and loved it. One of the points he makes in this book is be careful at the curves.

What he means is this:

When you are making a transition, make sure you are taking your listeners with you through that transition. Don’t lose them.

Public speakers have a tendency to lose their audience by moving too quickly through transitions, so Stanley's advice to them is “slow down at the curves.”

As I’ve observed children’s small group leaders, what I’ve realized is that they often lose their kids during transition times because they slow down too much. If a leader is unprepared, she often stops after one activity to read the next one and then figure out what to say to the kids. While she’s quietly reading the plans, the kids’ get fidgety. They might begin to talk with each other, poke each other, giggle, and throw things . If the leader is really slow about engaging kids in the next activity, mayhem can break out.

As a small group leader, one of the most effective ways for you to prepare for your time with kids is to pre-script your transitions. Write them out word for word. Be very clear (yet concise) about what you want kids to do and why. Don’t say too little. Don’t ramble on and on.

You might think this is too time consuming, but I assure you, it works. If you know exactly what you want your kids to do next and you can verbally move them from one activity to the next without pausing to think about what to say, you’ll hold kids’ attention and they’ll stick with you.

Pause now and think about your small group. Do you tend to lose kids at the curves? Do they start talking to each other between activities? Do you struggle to get their attention whenever it’s time to shift gears in your group?

If this describes your group, I encourage you to take the extra 10 minutes to script out your transitions. In one week, you’ll notice a difference. Your ten minute sacrifice will result in more focused class time, which will result in more time for kids to learn how to apply God’s truths, to pray, to learn Bible verses and to make meaningful friendships. Your weekly ten minute sacrifices will make an eternal difference in the lives of your kids.

Come back next week to get ideas about the order of directions…

We Miss You. We Really, Really Miss You!

A couple weeks ago on a Sunday morning a family entered the church through the office door. This is a family that attends our church but comes more “off” than “on.” The kids were a bit tentative about being here but they were here – YEA! As they left the office, I overheard the mom say to the kids, “Come on, kids; let’s go find a seat.” She hesitated as she walked down the hall toward the sanctuary and came back to my office with a question. “Is our daughter’s small group leader here today? She’s gotten two ‘I miss you’ cards from her and has been asking to come to church to see her. There aren’t many girls in her small group and she really loved it that the leader asked her to come be another girl with her in the group.”

Kids LOVE to hear that they have been missed! They LOVE to be noticed. They LOVE to know that you care about them – not as a group, but as a person. This little girl loved getting cards from her leader and really believed that SHE was missed.

Our goal is not to have kids come to church so our numbers are big. Our desire is to have kids come to church because we LOVE each of them and we’d LOVE for each of them to experience God’s love and presence in their lives.

I encourage you to write or call the kids you haven’t seen in a few weeks and let them know they are missed. When you do that, make your message personal. Whatever it is that you miss specifically about that child, let him or her know that. You could write things like:

• I miss YOU.
• I miss YOUR smiling face.
• I miss hearing YOU pray.
• I miss that way YOU help me pick up after small group.

Let’s let our kids know they are loved and missed when they are gone. There will be postcards in your mailboxes for kids who haven’t been here in a few weeks. If they don’t come on Sunday, please send them an “I miss you” card. If they come on Sunday, please send them an “It was great to see you on Sunday” card. They will cherish the cards and/or calls and will want to keep coming back. Thank you so much for loving kids to Jesus!

Who Sits Where

One of the best ways to help your kids focus during small group time is to make sure they are sitting next to people who won’t distract them. As the leader of a small group, you not only have the authority to ask your kids to sit in specific places, but you have the responsibility to do that. If you allow certain kids to sit next to each other, not only do those kids distract each other, but they also rob everyone else in the group of valuable learning time.

Before you come to church this Sunday, take a minute to think about the dynamics of your group. Which kids feed off each other? Which kids need to be physically separate from each other? Which kids would benefit from sitting right next to you so you can provide extra guidance and support for them? Which kids can you count on to help others find Bible verses or encourage those who are struggling?

You may not get the arrangement right the first time, but having a plan in a place to start. Experiment with the order until you’ve come upon a plan that minimizes distractions and maximizing learning time. And, remember that kids only come on the average half the time, so whatever plan you come up with won’t be perfectly implemented, but it will get you thinking about who should (or shouldn’t) sit next to whom.

As a reward for keeping focused on learning while sitting in their new spots, kids could be allowed to sit next to their friends for the last few minutes of group time while they are waiting on their parents.

Distributed Practice More Effective Than Massed Practice

One of the best learning strategies out there is that people learn better through short, repeated practices than through massed practice (in one long session). This is why teachers encourage students to review a little each night instead of cramming for tests. It’s why athletes practice nearly every day instead of doing all their practice on one or two days a week. And it’s why our Discovery Unlimited curriculum camps out on one virtue and one verse each month.

As a small group leader, you may be wondering how this applies to you and the kids you lead. Here are a few ways:

• Include a Bible memory activity each week instead of spending 15 minutes one week of the month on Bible memory. Kids will learn the verse better if they review it each week.
  
  
• Provide prayer time each week for kids and encourage them to pray aloud, even if it’s just one sentence. The act of praying a bit each week will teach them to pray more confidently than if you try to get them to pray a longer pray once a month.
  
  
• Have them open their Bibles, even if it’s just to one verse, regularly. The more they use a Bible and the Table of Contents, the easier it will become. Don’t think that they can wait until they are older and learn to navigate the word of God.
  
  
• Repetition is an aid to learning; it’s not a hindrance. The fact that kids have four weeks to learn a virtue and a verse doesn’t mean that what we are doing is “watered down;” it means that we are teaching toward mastery. If we hopped from topic to topic each week, kids would have much less of a chance of learning anything. The repetition enhances their ability to learn so…

Capitalize on opportunities to have kids repeat. Provide them with short opportunities to practice spiritual disciplines (like prayer, Bible memory, finding verses in the Bible and service over and over). This approach will change their lives!

Build Community

The foundational components of our Sunday morning program for kids are (1) relevant, engaging Biblical content and (2) loving community. Kids face all kids of challenges in life – broken homes, financial uncertainty, and social pressure, to name of few. Security is a foreign concept to many kids.

Our dream is to create an environment where every child is treasured and valued, where every child is known and has the opportunity to know others, where every child is loved and has the opportunity to love others. That's where you come in.

As small group leaders, you are the glue that holds your small group together. Community doesn't just happen. You can facilitate community for your group by implementing a few ideas. I have already mentioned some of these in previous tips, but they warrant repeating because they are so important. (This list isn't exhaustive, but it's a great start.)

Ways to build community:

1. Know your kids. Make it your goal to find out something new about each kid each week in your group. Start taking notes if you have trouble remembering what kids tell you.
   
   
2. Ask follow-up questions about kids' lives. Once you find out what their hobbies are, ask about them from time to time. Once you find out if they are in any performances or games (music, drama, sports), ask how they did. Take a personal interest in each kid.
   
   
3. Take advantage of free time. Be in The Reef or The Galaxy by 9:30 to spend unstructured time with your kids. This is a great time to get to know them.
   
   
4. Establish rules of respect in the group so that when one person is talking, everyone else is listening.
   
   
5. Encourage kids to pray for one another. One way to do this is to have every one write something they want prayer for on a slip of paper and then trade papers or put them in the center of the circl and everyone draws one out. Have them pray aloud for the person whose paper they go.
   
   
6. Send your kids a postcard or note each month or whenever they miss or whenever they do something really great in small group. Getting a sincere note from a small group leader means more than you can imagine to a kid! A more communal idea is to write cards as a group to kids who have been gone for a couple weeks.
   
   
7. Address the kids by name each week. Using someone’s name speaks volumes!
   
   
8. Pray for your kids each week.

These are just a few ways you can facilitate community in your group. There are a ton of other ways. I encourage you to click the comment button below and share your ideas with other small group leaders.

Use Your Plans As a Springboard, Part II

One of the exciting things about our church is we have frequent non-churched visitors. Our prayer is that these visitors will come back and become regular attenders. This is something we rejoice over, but it creates a leadership challenge for you.

Your small group is most likely comprised of kids who have been raised in the church and kids who have rarely been to church. As you look through the weekly lesson plans, don’t assume the kids in your group are at the same place spiritually and, if you lead groups of older kids, don’t assume they all have a strong knowledge of the Bible. Many of our kids have very little previous spiritual instruction.

To help each child develop spiritually, do an informal assessment of each one. Answer questions like these:

• How effective is this child at connecting the main point in the lesson to his or her life?
• How well can s/he navigate the Bible?
• How comfortable is s/he praying aloud?
• How respectful is s/he of other members in the group?

Once you feel you know these things about the kids in your group, come up with a spiritual development plan for each child. This doesn’t have to be complex or overwhelming.

For example:

• If Billy doesn’t know how to look up verses, make it a goal to teach him how to use the Table of Contents and find verses by the end of the summer.
• If Sarah has never prayed aloud, take advantage of low-risk structured prayer activities like the one in our lesson this week to encourage her to pray aloud.
• If some of the kids in your group have a hard time learning Bible verses but they love physical activity, replace the pen and paper verse activities with activities that involve physical activity, like marching in a circle, while they shout out the verse.

Having specific spiritual goals for each child will help you become a more effective leader. The goals should be individualized and achievable. As you plan your lessons, you should keep these goals in mind and tweak the plans so you can help each kid reach the goal you’ve set for him or her.

The kids don’t need to know you have spiritual goals for them, but they will certainly benefit from them as you adjust your leading to help them achieve the goals.

PLEASE POST: If you have set individual goals for kids in your group before, I encourage you to comment on this message and share one or two goals you've set and how you've helped your kids achieve them.

Thanks for caring about the spiritual development of each kid in your group!

Use Your Plans As a Springboard, Part I

Each week you’re given several activities to use in your small group time. You can approach these activities in two ways:

1. as a checklist of things to get done or
2. as a springboard for engaging your kids in the learning process.

Aside from kids feeling loved and cared for, our goals for small group time are to:

• give kids an opportunity to see how amazing God is through the stories and truths in His Word,
• to provide opportunities for kids to discover how those truths apply to their lives in practical ways
• to learn how to talk to their Heavenly Father, and
• to encourage kids to engage in Bible memory activities so God’s Word can seep into the very fiber of their being and have a life-long impact on them

As you read over the plans each week, think about how your kids learn best. What are their likes? What are their dislikes? Which activities will bring the Bible stories and truths come life? Which ones will bore them? Are there ways you can “tweak” the plans to make them more interested and memorable to the kids in your group? Some kids LOVE to draw; other kids really NEED physical activity. Some kids learn by talking; other kids learn by doing.

Don’t approach the plans as if they are a checklist you have to get through. Instead, look at them as a springboard for ways you can engage kids in the Bible story, help kids discover how the bottom line applies to their lives, help kids memorize foundational verses, and teach kids how to talk to God in personal ways. I encourage you to accomplish these goals in ways that are meaningful and memorable to your kids. When you do that, everyone has fun and everyone learns and that’s what we’re striving for.

Thanks for helping kids see God!

Know Your Kids

Your top priority as a small group leader is to build relationships with the kids in your group. Get to know them and what is going on in their lives. Your caring about each kid personally will open up opportunities for God to speak to them through you. If a kid doesn't feel like you care about him, he won't want to listen to what you have to say to him and he won't be open to hearing that God cares about Him. So jump in and have fun getting to know the kids God has put in your group. Then, watch what God does in their lives over time.

Ways you can get to know your kids:

• Learn their names and meet their parents.
• Take advantage of the free time before and after your program to ask your kids questions about their families, pets, sports, music, vacations, school, etc.
• Ask open-ended questions instead of yes/no questions.
• Pay attention to what each kid says and remember from week to week what their likes and dislikes and joys and struggles are. Ask them questions from week to week that reflect you care about them as people.
• Make an effort to attend a music program, sporting event or other special activity that each child is in over the course of the year.
  
• As you get to know your kids and figure out where they are spiritually, adjust your plans to nurture them more effectively in their spiritual journey.
• HAVE FUN WITH THEM :-)

Be On Time

In my last tip, I shared that one of the best ways to communicate to kids that they have value is to be prepared for small group. Thank you for looking over your plans before you arrive and knowing what you want to teach and how you want to teach it. I enjoyed walking around last week and seeing groups engaged in the lesson and learning about God’s joy.

Another very important way to communicate to kids that they are valuable is to be on time. Some of the most important minutes in our ministry are from 9:25 (yes, some kids show up then) to 9:48. You might be thinking – “Why are those minutes so important? Kids are just hanging out. That’s a good time for me to get my supplies, set up my area and get my caffeine fix so I can be prepared for small group time.”

The reason this time is SO important is that in those minutes our kids feel the most vulnerable. Many of them aren’t comfortable without structure. They don’t have many friends here and don’t really know how to plug into the activities we have for them. If you make an effort to reach out to them and engage them in a conversation or activity, you’ll communicate to them in a HUGE way that they matter. Before they can believe that they matter to God, they need to feel like they matter to us, so I encourage you to be in your room by 9:30 at the latest, ready to love on kids.

THANK YOU for showing kids they matter to you and to God!

Be Prepared

I appreciate all the small group leaders in the children's ministry at the Lawrence Free Methodist Church and want to dedicate this series of posts to you to help you be the best small group leaders you can be!

I hope these tips are encouraging and helpful. Let me know if you have ideas for things to include or if you'd like to write the tip sometime.

One of the best ways to have a great small group and to communicate to kids that you love them and value them is to be ready for small group time. Kids appreciate knowing that their leader has a plan, is excited about what is going on, and cares enough about the lesson and the kids to prepare for their time together. Just like the scouts, a great motto for us is "Be Prepared."