Build Community

The foundational components of our Sunday morning program for kids are (1) relevant, engaging Biblical content and (2) loving community. Kids face all kids of challenges in life – broken homes, financial uncertainty, and social pressure, to name of few. Security is a foreign concept to many kids.

Our dream is to create an environment where every child is treasured and valued, where every child is known and has the opportunity to know others, where every child is loved and has the opportunity to love others. That's where you come in.

As small group leaders, you are the glue that holds your small group together. Community doesn't just happen. You can facilitate community for your group by implementing a few ideas. I have already mentioned some of these in previous tips, but they warrant repeating because they are so important. (This list isn't exhaustive, but it's a great start.)

Ways to build community:

1. Know your kids. Make it your goal to find out something new about each kid each week in your group. Start taking notes if you have trouble remembering what kids tell you.
   
   
2. Ask follow-up questions about kids' lives. Once you find out what their hobbies are, ask about them from time to time. Once you find out if they are in any performances or games (music, drama, sports), ask how they did. Take a personal interest in each kid.
   
   
3. Take advantage of free time. Be in The Reef or The Galaxy by 9:30 to spend unstructured time with your kids. This is a great time to get to know them.
   
   
4. Establish rules of respect in the group so that when one person is talking, everyone else is listening.
   
   
5. Encourage kids to pray for one another. One way to do this is to have every one write something they want prayer for on a slip of paper and then trade papers or put them in the center of the circl and everyone draws one out. Have them pray aloud for the person whose paper they go.
   
   
6. Send your kids a postcard or note each month or whenever they miss or whenever they do something really great in small group. Getting a sincere note from a small group leader means more than you can imagine to a kid! A more communal idea is to write cards as a group to kids who have been gone for a couple weeks.
   
   
7. Address the kids by name each week. Using someone’s name speaks volumes!
   
   
8. Pray for your kids each week.

These are just a few ways you can facilitate community in your group. There are a ton of other ways. I encourage you to click the comment button below and share your ideas with other small group leaders.

Why "Eyes Wide Open"?

Since I started this blog, I’ve thought of posting things other than tips for small group leaders but haven’t ventured out. I’ve had ideas for postings, but have never sat down to write them. So, tonight I decided to break the ice and write my first non-tip post.

The biggest blog challenge for me was to come up with a name for the blog. I didn’t want to use my name – that would have been too boring. I didn’t want to give it a name that limited it to children’s ministry – that would have been too narrow. I wanted a name that was compelling and had significance, so I decided to look through my recent quiet time notes to see if anything piqued my interest. It didn’t take long for me to come across this quote from Isaiah 55, “Come to me with your eyes wide open. Listen, and you will find life.” (NLT)

That’s it! “Eyes Wide Open.” God is asking us to keep our eyes open to what He’s doing in our world, in our life, in the lives of those around us. When our eyes are open, we are attuned to Him. When our heart is far from Him, we can’t see what He’s up to. Isaiah 43:19 says, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”

The LAST thing I want is to have God doing a new thing in my life and the lives of those around me and miss it. I never want to be so myopic that I can’t see what God’s up to. I want to keep my eyes wide open in anticipation of seeing God at work.

After I decided on the title “Eyes Wide Open,” I wanted to include the verse in the explanation of the blog, but hadn’t written the number down. When I looked it up again, I realized that the phrase wasn’t “eyes wide open” at all. The verse is Isaiah 55:3 and it says, “Come to my with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life.” It was ears, not eyes! I had written it down wrong in my notes!

For a few seconds, I contemplated changing the name of the blog to “Ears Wide Open” but couldn’t bring myself to do it. It didn’t have the same ring. “Wide eyes” are more appealing than “wide ears.” Wide eyes communicate inquisitiveness; wide ears – well they just make me think of Dumbo. Cute as he may be, Dumbo doesn’t motivate me to live in anticipation of God showing up in my life.

Keep your eyes (and ears) wide open. Watch and listen, and you'll find life!

Pray

Praying for your small group may not sound like a very insightful tip, but it is actually the best advice I can give.

Four reasons it’s so important to pray for your small group:

1. Prayer reminds you that you are utterly dependent on God.
   None of us, in our own strength, can change kids’ lives. Only God can do that. By constantly asking God for help, you remind yourself each week that this is God’s ministry and you are His tool.
   
   
2. Prayer puts you in the right frame of mind each time you meet kids.
   Sundays can be hectic so we need to start the morning by focusing on God. Ask God to use you to show His love to kids. We often miss great opportunities to help kids see how amazing God is because we haven’t prayed and asked God to love kids through us.
   
   
3. Prayer endears the kids to you.
   When you pray for a child in your group by name and ask God to deepen your love for that child, God will give you a desire to know that child better and love him or her more.
   
   
4. Prayer increases your passion for ministry.
   Ministry has its ups and downs. It’s not always easy; it’s not always fun. However, as you pray for the kids in your group and pray for God’s help to lead well, God will strengthen your heart in the challenging times and increase your desire to make a difference in the lives of kids.

A few things to include in your prayers:

1. Thank God for…
   
   • each kid in your group
   • the opportunity to lead your group
   • His help and strength
     
     
2. Pray for each child in your group
   
   • that they will understand God’s love more and more
   • that they will make wise choices, treat others the way they want to be treated and trust God no matter what
   • any particular concerns you are aware of
     
     
3. Pray for yourself
   
   • that God will give you love, patience and wisdom as you lead your group
   • that God will help you become an even better small group leader for the kids in your group
   • that God will use you to impact kids for eternity
     

Each Sunday dedicate the morning to God and ask Him to use it to draw kids to Himself. If you forget to pray for the kids in your group and your time with them, you are missing out on the best help you’ll ever get.

Use Your Plans As a Springboard, Part II

One of the exciting things about our church is we have frequent non-churched visitors. Our prayer is that these visitors will come back and become regular attenders. This is something we rejoice over, but it creates a leadership challenge for you.

Your small group is most likely comprised of kids who have been raised in the church and kids who have rarely been to church. As you look through the weekly lesson plans, don’t assume the kids in your group are at the same place spiritually and, if you lead groups of older kids, don’t assume they all have a strong knowledge of the Bible. Many of our kids have very little previous spiritual instruction.

To help each child develop spiritually, do an informal assessment of each one. Answer questions like these:

• How effective is this child at connecting the main point in the lesson to his or her life?
• How well can s/he navigate the Bible?
• How comfortable is s/he praying aloud?
• How respectful is s/he of other members in the group?

Once you feel you know these things about the kids in your group, come up with a spiritual development plan for each child. This doesn’t have to be complex or overwhelming.

For example:

• If Billy doesn’t know how to look up verses, make it a goal to teach him how to use the Table of Contents and find verses by the end of the summer.
• If Sarah has never prayed aloud, take advantage of low-risk structured prayer activities like the one in our lesson this week to encourage her to pray aloud.
• If some of the kids in your group have a hard time learning Bible verses but they love physical activity, replace the pen and paper verse activities with activities that involve physical activity, like marching in a circle, while they shout out the verse.

Having specific spiritual goals for each child will help you become a more effective leader. The goals should be individualized and achievable. As you plan your lessons, you should keep these goals in mind and tweak the plans so you can help each kid reach the goal you’ve set for him or her.

The kids don’t need to know you have spiritual goals for them, but they will certainly benefit from them as you adjust your leading to help them achieve the goals.

PLEASE POST: If you have set individual goals for kids in your group before, I encourage you to comment on this message and share one or two goals you've set and how you've helped your kids achieve them.

Thanks for caring about the spiritual development of each kid in your group!

Use Your Plans As a Springboard, Part I

Each week you’re given several activities to use in your small group time. You can approach these activities in two ways:

1. as a checklist of things to get done or
2. as a springboard for engaging your kids in the learning process.

Aside from kids feeling loved and cared for, our goals for small group time are to:

• give kids an opportunity to see how amazing God is through the stories and truths in His Word,
• to provide opportunities for kids to discover how those truths apply to their lives in practical ways
• to learn how to talk to their Heavenly Father, and
• to encourage kids to engage in Bible memory activities so God’s Word can seep into the very fiber of their being and have a life-long impact on them

As you read over the plans each week, think about how your kids learn best. What are their likes? What are their dislikes? Which activities will bring the Bible stories and truths come life? Which ones will bore them? Are there ways you can “tweak” the plans to make them more interested and memorable to the kids in your group? Some kids LOVE to draw; other kids really NEED physical activity. Some kids learn by talking; other kids learn by doing.

Don’t approach the plans as if they are a checklist you have to get through. Instead, look at them as a springboard for ways you can engage kids in the Bible story, help kids discover how the bottom line applies to their lives, help kids memorize foundational verses, and teach kids how to talk to God in personal ways. I encourage you to accomplish these goals in ways that are meaningful and memorable to your kids. When you do that, everyone has fun and everyone learns and that’s what we’re striving for.

Thanks for helping kids see God!

Know Your Kids

Your top priority as a small group leader is to build relationships with the kids in your group. Get to know them and what is going on in their lives. Your caring about each kid personally will open up opportunities for God to speak to them through you. If a kid doesn't feel like you care about him, he won't want to listen to what you have to say to him and he won't be open to hearing that God cares about Him. So jump in and have fun getting to know the kids God has put in your group. Then, watch what God does in their lives over time.

Ways you can get to know your kids:

• Learn their names and meet their parents.
• Take advantage of the free time before and after your program to ask your kids questions about their families, pets, sports, music, vacations, school, etc.
• Ask open-ended questions instead of yes/no questions.
• Pay attention to what each kid says and remember from week to week what their likes and dislikes and joys and struggles are. Ask them questions from week to week that reflect you care about them as people.
• Make an effort to attend a music program, sporting event or other special activity that each child is in over the course of the year.
  
• As you get to know your kids and figure out where they are spiritually, adjust your plans to nurture them more effectively in their spiritual journey.
• HAVE FUN WITH THEM :-)

Be On Time

In my last tip, I shared that one of the best ways to communicate to kids that they have value is to be prepared for small group. Thank you for looking over your plans before you arrive and knowing what you want to teach and how you want to teach it. I enjoyed walking around last week and seeing groups engaged in the lesson and learning about God’s joy.

Another very important way to communicate to kids that they are valuable is to be on time. Some of the most important minutes in our ministry are from 9:25 (yes, some kids show up then) to 9:48. You might be thinking – “Why are those minutes so important? Kids are just hanging out. That’s a good time for me to get my supplies, set up my area and get my caffeine fix so I can be prepared for small group time.”

The reason this time is SO important is that in those minutes our kids feel the most vulnerable. Many of them aren’t comfortable without structure. They don’t have many friends here and don’t really know how to plug into the activities we have for them. If you make an effort to reach out to them and engage them in a conversation or activity, you’ll communicate to them in a HUGE way that they matter. Before they can believe that they matter to God, they need to feel like they matter to us, so I encourage you to be in your room by 9:30 at the latest, ready to love on kids.

THANK YOU for showing kids they matter to you and to God!