Gather ‘round

These past few weeks, I’ve had about 14 second graders in my “small group.” As I mentioned in an earlier post, 14 kids is more like a class than a group so I need to be very intentional about helping them stay focused.

My main tactic for keeping my group on task is to have them get in a circle, hold hands, take a step forward and then sit down. This creates a fairly tight circle with very little space between each kid and we can do activities in the center of the circle. This circle has been wonderful for keeping this many kids engaged.

I sit in the circle also and have all the supplies I need right behind me. This allows me to move easily from one activity to the next without leaving the circle.

Every once in a while, after an activity or two, a child will end up sitting more towards the middle of the circle. It’s very easy to redirect that child by saying, “Tyler, please sit back in the circle.” If the entire group has gotten out of the circle because they’ve moved around during an activity, it’s very easy to have them stand up, hold hands, take a small step forward and sit down again.

I’m loving my circle! If you’re having trouble getting your kids to sit still, you might want to try having them sit in a circle on the floor. It’s worked amazingly well for me!

Keeping Small Groups Small

For the past month, I’ve been leading the small group of new 2nd graders on Sunday mornings. It’s called a small group, but it hasn’t actually been small. Several Sundays there have been 14 kids in the group and fall isn’t even here yet.

When summer vacations are over, I fully anticipate the number of 2nd graders on any given Sunday to be 20 or more. That’s a class, not a small group.

While I’m becoming rather attached to all the kids in the group, the experience of leading this group of kids has increased my commitment to keeping our groups small on Sunday mornings. With small groups,

• kids get more opportunities to talk and kids learn when they talk.
• kids are more likely to pray
• kids are more focused because they don’t have to wait as long while other kids talk or finish their work.
• it’s easier to draw out quieter kids.
• it’s easier to really get to know kids.
• disruptive behavior is minimized.

As we gear up for fall, join me in the commiment to keep our Sunday morning groups small by (1) telling your friends how much you enjoy being a small group leader and/or assistant and asking them to do it, too, and (2) praying for God to send us more leaders and assistants.

Want to grow in your faith? Try serving!

Many years ago I was at a crossroad in my life, trying to figure out where I really fit in at church. I had been involved in our Wednesday night children’s program for years and then transitioned to teaching an adult class on Sunday mornings. After doing that for a while, I took a break from ministry. Life was busy, the kids were growing up, my husband was very involved in Sunday ministry, I was working a fulltime job and it was hard for me to keep up with everything.

As time went by, though, I found myself more and more “lost” in our church. I didn’t feel connected and I had plateaued spiritually. My wise and loving husband sat me down and pointed out to me that I had started feeling this way after I had stepped out of ministry. He reminded me that God had wired me to serve Him and others and when I wasn’t doing that, I was bound to feel lost, unenergized and spiritually empty. He was right.

Last week I received a “farewell” e-mail from Leisel, one of our sixth grade small group leaders. Liesel volunteered to help with our sixth grade girls this summer and she also went so summer camp as a cabin leader. After a brief year in Lawrence, she is now heading back to Alaska for college.

Her e-mail reiterates what my husband told me years ago. With her permission I’m including it.

I've really enjoyed working with the 6th graders and the rest of the SS teachers! Thanks so much for letting me. I've already found my faith being more solid since I've worked with the girls and helped at camp! I once saw a quote in one of my ed classes that said "to teach is to learn twice" and it's true! I've learned more about God and myself and my relationship with God since the beginning of the summer, it's incredible!

I’m grateful to God that Liesel is heading back to college with a renewed interest in pursuing God and with joy in her heart. I love it that God changes our hearts as we serve others! How cool is that!

“I found it!”

Yesterday was the first week of a new virtue in Discovery Unlimited. One of my favorite parts of small group was helping the 2nd graders find their new Bible verse. I loved seeing the excitement in their faces when they found the verse and hearing them exclaim, “I found it! Can I read it to you?”

It’s not hard for kids to learn to find verses if you walk them through this process:

1. Find the book listed in the Table of Contents.
2. Identify the page number the book is on.
3. Locate the book in the Bible.
4. Turn to the correct chapter.
5. Scan through the chapter to find the correct verse.

They LOVE it when they find the right verse. It’s a huge accomplishment for them!

Having younger kids look up the same verse every week for a month is extremely helpful. Kids who are just learning to use their Bibles can really benefit from going through these steps repeatedly. Unlike us, they don’t get tired of it or think to themselves, “We’ve already done this before!” Each week they feel a new sense of accomplishment.

The great thing is that each time they successfully find the verse (even if they’ve found it several times before), they are learning how to navigate the Bible and are feeling good about their newly acquired skills.

I encourage you to have the kids in your group open the Bible every week during small group time. If they actually use their Bibles, even for only a minute or two, every time they come to DU, by the end of elementary school, they’ll know their way around.

Bibles are stored in the Galaxy closet if you need them. Help yourself!

What’s The “Win” for a Small Group Leader?

There are many things small group leaders can try to do well, but we need to know what the ultimate “win,” or "mark of success," is so we can continue to strive toward that.

For small group leaders, the “win” is changed lives. Small group leaders are the people who get to be on the front lines of ministry, helping kids understand how Biblical principles relate to their lives, helping them internalize Scripture, and teaching them spiritual disciplines like how to pray.

You know you are making headway in your ministry when…

• kids become more comfortable praying aloud and do it more frequently
• kids tell you about prayers they pray when they aren’t in church
  
  
• kids memorize verses and understand how to apply them to their lives
• kids make practical applications of the Biblical principles you are discussing
• kids tell you how they applied the previous week’s lesson or how they have made a wise choice during the week
  
  
• kids begin to treat others with more respect
  
  
• kids demonstrate an increased level of faith in Christ as they discuss difficult situations they (or others in your group) face. When their response to these situations is to pray, they are demonstrating faith.
  

Some ways to promote life change (apart from prayer)

• Tell kids how God is answering your prayers so they can see that God really does hear and respond to us.
• Ask kids how God is answering their prayers. Be sure to have kids thank God for His answers.
• Encourage kids to pray when they face difficult situations.
  
  
• As kids learn the monthly verse, make sure they understand what it means and how it applies to their lives. Learning Bible verses isn’t enough. The need to understand how God's Word can change their lives.
  
• Make sure each kid leaves small group with one concrete way to apply the lesson.
• Use prayer time to have each child ask for God’s help to apply the lesson.
• Ask kids from week to week how they applied last week’s lesson.
• Share your experiences of applying Scripture to your life.
  
  
• Encourage kids to treat others with respect (listen when others are talking, use kind words, offer to help others, etc.)

Each week keep an eye out for any evidence that God is at work in the lives of your kids and celebrate that!

Have a great small group this week!

God Is Working

Last Sunday I had the privilege of leading the first grade small group in DU. It wasn’t actually a small group; the kids filled two round tables (a topic for a future post.)

It had been more than a decade since I’d led a group of kids that age and I truly enjoyed being with them.

When it came time for kids to talk about how they could apply the virtue, I stayed at one of the tables so I could have a more in-depth conversation with the kids. The analogy of self-control being like the walls of a city was a bit challenging for them, but the kids began to grasp the idea that when they use kind words, their lives will go better and when they use mean words, they’ll bring problems on themselves. We talked about how showing gratitude is one way to use kind words.

We ended up with extra time, so I encouraged the kids to draw a picture of someone they could thank this week as a way to show self control with their words.

As the parents started picking up their children, one little girl came over to me and showed me her picture. This was a girl who had been disagreeable at the beginning of group time. As she held up her picture, she had a big smile on her face.

“That’s a great picture! Who’s it of?” I asked her.

“Jesus,” she replied.

“What are you going to thank Jesus for?”

“For letting me live.”

Then, she bowed her head in the middle of the room as parents were picking up their kids and prayed. “Thank you, Jesus, for letting me live.”

Wow! What a great morning! This little girl, who seemed contrary at first, was really listening and learning to appreciate Jesus. That’s what we’re after – helping kids (even those who don’t seem very engaged) understand that Jesus loves them and cares for them.

Rest assured that as you love kids and respond to them positively, even when they seem disengaged or contrary, God is working in their hearts, drawing them to Himself.

Be Careful At the Curves

Once or twice a year, I get the privilege of preaching in our church. Since I don’t get to do that very often, I don’t get many opportunities to refine my public speaking. A couple years ago, I decided I’d better read some books to figure out how to deliver a message that is memorable.

I came across a book titled Communicating For a Change by Andy Stanley and loved it. One of the points he makes in this book is be careful at the curves.

What he means is this:

When you are making a transition, make sure you are taking your listeners with you through that transition. Don’t lose them.

Public speakers have a tendency to lose their audience by moving too quickly through transitions, so Stanley's advice to them is “slow down at the curves.”

As I’ve observed children’s small group leaders, what I’ve realized is that they often lose their kids during transition times because they slow down too much. If a leader is unprepared, she often stops after one activity to read the next one and then figure out what to say to the kids. While she’s quietly reading the plans, the kids’ get fidgety. They might begin to talk with each other, poke each other, giggle, and throw things . If the leader is really slow about engaging kids in the next activity, mayhem can break out.

As a small group leader, one of the most effective ways for you to prepare for your time with kids is to pre-script your transitions. Write them out word for word. Be very clear (yet concise) about what you want kids to do and why. Don’t say too little. Don’t ramble on and on.

You might think this is too time consuming, but I assure you, it works. If you know exactly what you want your kids to do next and you can verbally move them from one activity to the next without pausing to think about what to say, you’ll hold kids’ attention and they’ll stick with you.

Pause now and think about your small group. Do you tend to lose kids at the curves? Do they start talking to each other between activities? Do you struggle to get their attention whenever it’s time to shift gears in your group?

If this describes your group, I encourage you to take the extra 10 minutes to script out your transitions. In one week, you’ll notice a difference. Your ten minute sacrifice will result in more focused class time, which will result in more time for kids to learn how to apply God’s truths, to pray, to learn Bible verses and to make meaningful friendships. Your weekly ten minute sacrifices will make an eternal difference in the lives of your kids.

Come back next week to get ideas about the order of directions…